Yo dont text me then not text me
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
