omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she told me i tasted like america
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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