Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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