there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
