I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
