Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
