So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
