just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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