I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
