so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
