I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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