I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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