Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
