i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
