I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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