He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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