Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
God, I missed his penis.
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