This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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