Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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