I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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