I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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