that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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