I'd wear matching sweaters with you
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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