Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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