even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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