nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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