Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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