You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize