i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
