you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Damn victory sex feels great
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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