Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
