I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
