Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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