Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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