I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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