You can't motorboat a personality
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
