so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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