Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
