we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
