no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
