I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
