WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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