Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
