So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dick very happy bro
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize