Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
