The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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