Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
