Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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