How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
