Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
