Sponge bath it is.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
