A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
