remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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