Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
