what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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