I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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