It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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