i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you would pick up someone in the library
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
