mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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