Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
