This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
